A Memorable Proposal is a Gift
For 38-year-old Todd Grannis setting himself on fire and diving off a ten-foot platform to
propose to his unsuspecting girlfriend, Malissa Kusiek, is just one of those things a man
will do when love takes him outside of himself. Love propels us to stretch the limits of
our soul and scale to the top of the world where all things possible exist. There, you can
lasso the moon, pluck a star from the sky, or curl your hand around a lick of flame and
bring it back to her because love enables us to be bigger than we are; it gives us wings to
fly higher and farther than we ever imagined.
"I really wanted the proposal to be a special event for Malissa because she is just
wonderful," Todd says. "I wanted Malissa to have a story to tell-a memorable proposal.
It's a gift for the woman I love."
In Grants Pass, Oregon, July 4th was a perfect night for a proposal. It was dusk and the
light was just so with the sun going down and night taking over. Malissa, and 75 family
and friends were gathered for the annual party that was to have a few surprises and
culminate in fireworks. The crowd thought stuntman and friend Eric Barkey, who's done
hundreds of human-torch fire jumps, was to perform a fitting stunt for this occasion.
Knowing all safety precautions would be taken to protect himself and everyone present,
Todd told about a dozen people of his plan, including Malissa's 16-year-old-son Calvin,
and her sister Mari. At one point Malissa looked over, and she couldn't understand why
her sister was so emotional and even tearing as "Eric" was getting ready to jump. It all
became clear seconds later.
Hooded and bundled in layers of his water-soaked fire suit, and a cape dipped in gasoline,
Todd climbed onto the platform. Barely able to see out of the hood, his vision narrowed.
A long, aluminum pole, fashioned as a torch, was lit and put to the cape. Within seconds,
he was a fiery, orange ball clearly defined as a man with flames engulfing and shooting
off his body. With Eric and the experienced safety crew standing by, Todd felt
surprisingly calm.
Without waiting the 20 seconds as Eric suggested, he saw a faint light come around his
face, felt a hint of warmth, and decided it was time to jump. Just as they'd rehearsed, arms
out, then body folded over in a u-shape with his fists to his toes-only this time with an
orange glow-he sailed into the air, the flames flowing backwards as he dived into the
pool. The scene was spectacular against the night sky, and the screaming crowd stood
dazzled. The flawless stunt over, Todd tore away the hood.
"When I saw him come out of the pool, my heart was pounding," recalls 36-year-old
Malissa still sounding flushed. "I ran over to him and then to Eric. I was shocked and
amazed and laughing all at the same time. All the emotions were going."
"The look on Malissa's face was priceless. Everybody was laughing and screaming and
having a blast." Before getting down on one knee, Todd said, "Malissa, you make me hot.
I want to get the point across that I'm on fire for you."
"I kept laughing, thinking he was so funny-why was he on his knees?" It wasn't until she
saw the ring, she realized, "Oh, my gosh, he's proposing!"
He looked up at her and said, "Will you marry me, Malissa?"
Todd then slipped a 2.25ct. diamond ring on Malissa's ring finger. Thrilled and crying,
she blurted "yes." Wearing a summery blue top and a short white skirt, Malissa was the
girl next door with her natural, pretty features, tousled strawberry-blond hair and radiant
smile-a modern version of the fairy princess who had just been asked for her hand by
the handsome prince who wanted to honor their love, fire being symbolic of his passion
and the lengths he would go for her.
"I felt like Cinderella," gushes Malissa. "I'd worked hard that morning, and then he put
this amazing two-carat ring on my finger. I wasn't expecting it, not that day." She knew
that they would be getting engaged within the next 2 years. Malissa says that they talked
about marriage half-seriously, although Todd says that after a year into the relationship
she gracefully dropped a few hints to which he playfully replied, "Sometime in the next
50-years (wink-wink)"
"I've been very fortunate and dated some truly good ones, but Malissa is the right one."
Known for not doing anything in a small way because he likes to have fun, there seems to
be similarities with one of his personal heroes, Richard Branson. He is the adventurous,
risk-taking hero who has started his own business on ingenuity, traveled to over 30
countries, sky-dived, shark dived, repelled, and bungee jumped off North America's
highest platform.
It is this sense of fun and adventure that drew him to the unusual proposal. Todd had in
the back of his mind the time Eric showed him a picture of himself doing the human
torch stunt and said, "you can do that," as in, 'have an open mind my friend, embrace
your fears, and I'll show you how to do this.' Sometime later, the light bulb went on, and
he started shopping for a ring that befitted Malissa. It was about honoring her and
showing that she was an eight cow-woman, and he would pay any price for her heart.
"Shopping for the ring and planning the fire stunt, I was thinking about the story of
Johnny Lingo."
The Legend of Johnny Lingo is the Patricia Gerr short story about the Polynesian who,
instead of giving a one-cow dowry, as was the custom, gave eight cows because he
wanted to show his love, Mahana, that he valued her. Johnny Lingo, whom the tribes'
people respected, but thought was suckered into parting with eight of his cows for his
wife, knew the key to a woman's heart and how she looks at herself has much to do with
how much value you place in her.
"It is about putting her on a pedestal," Todd says in his soft-spoken voice. "I want it to be
clear that she's worth it."
Johnny Lingo knew that his gift of honor would affect the way his beloved Mahana
carried herself-shoulders held high, and an inner beauty radiating outwards would
outshine her physical beauty. She would be the most beautiful woman there is, with a
husband who honored her.
"Mahana was changed because she was valued," Todd says and then quickly adds, "to me
Malissa is already an 8-cow woman. I'd give a thousand cows for her. It was me trying to
reach her worth."
Read more...
On love, success and a happy life
Since the proposal, the news quickly spread around the world. Television networks and
hundreds of websites and newspapers from India to Iraq picked up the story. What Todd
thought would be an entertaining story for Malissa to tell has turned into a media rush
with comments from across the country and radio interviews from New York to New
Zealand. But tear away the hype of the media and what you have is a couple who really
may be living their own fairytale.
In 1996, they met when she gave him a hair cut at her salon. It only took him the next six
years to "muster up the courage to ask her out", as they never seemed to be at same point
in their lives. Cupid missed again when Malissa called to cancel that first date because
she'd just started dating someone else. But if cupid was a lousy shot, then timing is
everything because a year later, in 2003, Todd volunteered to fix her computer. She made
him dinner, and over the next week, they talked on the phone for hours; they've been
together ever since.
One of the things that drew them together is that they're both self-made people with drive
and ambition. They've both worked hard from a young age for their success. Malissa has
had her own business for almost 20 years. Malissa & Company is one of South Oregon's
most respected Salons. In high demand, Malissa is booked solid, six or more weeks in
advance.
"Todd is very focused and driven...he's got it together," Malissa says underlining his
success. By the time he was 20, he was self-employed and making upwards of $100,000
or more a year. With a number of successful businesses started up and sold over
the years, today, Todd is CEO, and founder of the multi-award winning
visp.net, an Internet wholesale company in Grants Pass. He is, if anything, business
savvy.
Along with that admiration and appreciation for hard work-over the years when they
were just friends-they developed a mutual appreciation for each other. "I felt attracted
to Todd for years. While I was cutting his hair, we talked about our travels, our lives,"
Malissa says, "I did get to know a lot about Todd with our light hearted discussions. I saw
his sense of humor and his level of commitment in his relationships. I had some growing
to do in my life, and the timing was what it needed to be."
"I've always been interested in Malissa, but the timing was never right. I value
relationships that tenure," he chimes in upon reflection. "I think relationships get richer
over time because they season... they marinate and take on new flavor. That's what ours
did. I like that."
The exchange between these two is easy. Even though the conversation takes place on a
3-way call, you get a sense of two people who are committed to the growth of the
relationship. "We just laid everything out on the table and stripped ourselves down. It's a great place to start,"
Malissa says. "Todd and I, we have a lot of the same
views on how we want to live our lives, being very open and honest, very authentic; it
works well for us. Our relationship is much different from relationships I've had in the
past."
What Todd finds in his relationship with Malissa is the absence of strife. He says it's best
described as the continuous presence of harmony. "It's been the most wonderful and rich
relationship I've ever known," he says in his autobiography, written as an exercise for a
personal development seminar. "From Malissa I'm learning gratitude, I feel grateful that
we're blessed with happiness...we share a clear intention to live an extraordinary life."
If love enables us to be bigger than we are, then given their approach to love and life, it's
easy to see why Todd and Malissa fit so well together. Beautiful, personable and
successful with genuine love and respect for each other, they seem to be a modern
version of the fairytale. And while the proposal has become water cooler talk as the world
weighs in on the craziness or the romance of it, they are keeping things in perspective and
having fun, as they know all the attention is fleeting. They have started to make wedding
plans for August of 2006, in Kauai. And if you think that the wedding is going to be
flashy, you would be wrong. Malissa says that it will be a romantic, but simple and
elegant event with close family and friends. Some things are still very personal and old-
fashioned.
Whatever the consensus about Todd's unusual proposal, tear away all the hoopla, and
what you have is just a love story of a man who, as a gift of love, wanted to show a
woman that she is worth eight cows. You should know that.
Dawn Prince is a freelance writer living in beautiful New Hampshire with her poetic husband who has so far kept his promise
not to steal her wind. Visit her website, dawnprince.com, for essays on life.
She welcomes your interest and may be reached at
dawnprince@hotproposal.com.
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WARNING! THE HUMAN TORCH STUNT IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!
